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A and I were having a beer, and he tells me about his recent business trip to Pittsburg. As he approached the ticket counter at the airport, he couldn't help but notice the incredibly beautiful breasts on the girl selling tickets.
A told him of a similar situation I recently had with my ex wife. We had met for coffee to discuss what Christmas presents each of us would get for our sons.
I meant to say "Please pass the cream and sugar", but what came out was "Thanks for ruining my life you batshit crazy, ungrateful, selfish, fat fucking cunt". Happy Friday.